Inspiration Ice Cream

in loving memory of Janet Jue,

the Goddess from Los Angeles

who one day magically appeared at my doorstep in China

-- from halfway across the world --

to take me home to sunny California

to bloom my best

forthcoming fundraiser for Oxfam & cancer research

a memoir about losing mom...twice

#76: Double Chocolate Dissertation Ice Cream with Rainbow Sprinkles

Hello everyone! I am on a writer's retreat to complete and turn in my dissertation for my Ph.D. program this summer. I'll be back shortly (once I give my chair my dissertation chapters)... Thanks for stopping by for some inspiration ice creams, Jennifer

"Happiness is a habit of mind, beautifully framed."
love from Jennifer

(at home in glorious Union Station, Los Angeles)

*****

"Mommy nods, relief flooding her face. Her voice travels across ghostly lands and ghostly galaxies and seven high seas, soaring over tall mountains that tickle the blue belly of the sky with their rounded tips.

I forgot to give you this. I come from ghostly lands to bring you this gift -- the gift of my living words. It may come in memories of dreams of sleepless nights and salty tears, but in it lies all of my hopes that you will write every day of your life as your truest self. You are capable of things that I could only dream of, because you are overcoming challenges that I could not. Inside of you is not just my courage and strength, but also an alchemy of authenticity and ability from your birthmother, and from her mother and from me, from my mother, and from all our great grandmothers before us, an endless cord eons long...awaiting the start of a ritual -- that ritual is the gift of you. With every breath you take, our collective hope herein lies. You are authentic, powerful, lovable, beautiful, kind, worthy, creative and capable. Both of our families -- by birth and by love -- are so proud of you. Go forth with these gifts, removed from our wombs by distance -- and by hope -- but connected by our words, our breath stitched onto this very sheet of paper by ink, sewed to an invisible live cord eons long, by the geometry of our greatest gifts, our collective sorrows, and the mystical mana of our mothers' enduring love. Remember -

We stand

all of us drawn here

by an invisible cord eons long

awaiting the start of a ritual

removed from its womb

by distance and by hope...

This ritual is the Gift of You."

--"Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Mom" by Jennifer Bao Yu "Precious Jade" Jue-Steuck, published in the anthology From Home to Homeland

#75: Fancy Nancy's Ice Cream

"...They [her parents] never even ask for sprinkles!"
--Fancy Nancy by Jane O'Connor

#74: Ice Lollies for La Dolce Vita

Do you really love it? Does it make you feel excited? Alive? If not, why bother...

#73: Ice Crema by Moonlight

Sometimes the best thing to do is bathe by moonlight, under a canopy of stars.

#72: Monday's Miracle Magnola & Rose Ice Cream

The miracle is in this moment.

#71: Glace à la pensée

Change your thoughts, change your destiny.
--a thought had upon stirring this morning

#70: Mei-Mei's Gelato alla Nocciola e al Caffe

"Per piacere, vorrei un gelato! Mi piace il gelato...alla nocciola e al caffe."
("Please, I would like an ice cream! I like hazelnut and coffee ice cream.")

--some Italian lessons for your next trip to Tuscany! Of course everyone knows that gelato is a must in Italy! (cross-posted from our ONE WORLD group blog)

#69: Spoon's Ice Cream

That night after bedtime stories,
Spoon's mom turned off the light,
tucked him in, and said...

"You know, Spoon - I wonder if you
realize just how lucky you are.

"Your friends will never know
the joy of diving headfirst
into a bowl of ice cream."

"They'll never know what it feels like to
clink against the side of a cereal bowl."

"They'll never be able to twirl around in
a mug, or relax in a hot cup of tea."

--Spoon, a children's picture book by Amy Krouse Rosenthal with illustrations by Scott Magoon

#68: Glace à la centre ville

Sometimes you just need to wrap yourself in a soft blanket of solitude. Center yourself. And go within...
--today's happy thought

#67: Hope Root Beer Floats Ice Cream

In life, we live under a funny illusion that we own things.
The truth is that we own nothing. It is all on loan.

And so, in the end, we keep nothing. We keep nothing except for what we give out and leave in the hearts and hope banks of others.

What are you contributing to the hearts and hopes of others?

#66: Gigi's Ice Cream

If I hadn't been a Jennifer, I think I would have been a Gigi...
Which names do you feel slip on like a delicious silky soft glove?
--a thought that occured while listening to a Julie Andrews best of broadway CD during a perfect summer's sunset

#65: Beaches and Waves Ice Cream

I've come to the conclusion that most physical ailments (or "dis-eases," as Louise Hay writes)...are truly manifestations of stress. I used to be more skeptical when people would say that "stress kills." Now I no longer doubt it.

The thing is, the longer you live the more stress-baobabs have a chance to take root and grow into sky-high hideous weeds that shadow your life and strangle your joy.

Taking charge of one's health includes daily "flossing" (or uprooting of the stress-baobabs) as an act of self-preservation, spirit maintenance, and sustainer of your Chi (life energy/life force). You'd be amazed by the power of your life's river and flow once your spirit is harmonious and relatively stress-baobab free.

In my books, going to the beach (or wherever you can let down your hair) is no longer optional or just a "nice idea." It is your life insurance. Your pension. Your ultimate safety net from the inevitable chaos and stress of modern life.

#64: Why Not? Ice Cream

Why shouldn't every day of your life be a special day? It's up to you...
--a thought had at sunset today listening to the birds sing

#63: "Red, White and No More Blues" Ice Cream

So last night I had an epiphany...

When you're flat on your back, wondering "What Next!?" -- feeling like you got run over by 10 lorries on the highway -- the trick is follow the recipe I suggested earlier this week, but to also add this:

When in a "slump state," it is nearly impossible to have a clear perspective. Why? When you're flat on the ground, exhausted, you're literally in no "position" to see all you've accomplished before and all the exciting things that might lie ahead. Unlike owls -- who can nearly turn their heads 360 degrees -- we humans (sadly) have greater limitations when it comes to the fact that we must literally be facing most of what we can see.

In a slump state, it is therefore essential to let yourself lie down and rest, but to also imagine and visualize yourself watching yourself from a bird's eye perspective. Imagine that you are a great bird, hovering in the sky, staring down at your currently exhausted self lying on the road. It's only when we're far away in space that we can see our entire planet in all its splendour. Likewise, it's only when we have an eagle's eye perspective from the sky that we can see our life's accomplishments and have a grander (and more authentic) perspective of what's real and what really matters, and how much we have already overcome.

Try it. See what happens...

p.s. Btw, "Red, White and No More Blues" is a real ice cream that I spotted in a grocery store near Chez Panisse in Berkeley, California. I've never actually tried it, but I thought it was interesting and laughed out loud when I saw it. How American!

#62: Ciao Bella Ice Cream

I hope that your life path today -- and whatever you do next and during the rest of your life -- will be what you want, in your way, and will give you truly SPECIAL beautiful memories so that when you're 80 and a grandmother, you can look back and say....

"That was SO special. I'm so glad I did that."

And your heart can smile...
Ciao bellas. Off for a run...

#61: Easy as (American) Pie Ice Cream

Cross-posted from the ONE WORLD group blog:

If it was easy, everyone would do it.
--a thought re-remembered at dinner tonight

We Americans are fascinating creatures. No wonder we have such a stellar reputation around the world.

Consider the Evidence:
-Too many pounds? There's always liposuction.

-Friends rubbing you the wrong way, need too much help, or aren't entertaining slash beautiful slash whatever enough? The solution is simple: "De-friend them." (Facebook makes this possible with a single click of a button.) After all, we are a country known for our "instant friendships." (We're so friendly that we even have a chain -- with excellent ice creams, by the way -- called "Friendly's").

-Marriage too tough on, um, day four? File for divorce. By the way, watch out for that creepy clause in some high-profile marriages that states,"If the wife gains more than X pounds, hubby has grounds for divorce and is moving on to the next wife..." (Ladies, what happened to our clause that says,"If husband is a royal ass, selfish and oh-so-shallow, we have grounds to file for settlement, immediate divorce, and said EX-husband is eligible for FREE super-shipment and deportation to Siberia?" Courtesy of Uncle Sam, who is now looking out for the rights, psychological safety and well-being of American women who deserve to be loved and cherished exactly as they are!)

-Parents too old? Escort them to the nearest nursing home. Then become gluttonous guilt sloths (but hey! Where were THEY when we were kids and needed them?).

-Oops! Charged into war recklessly (yet again - SIGH - wasn't Vietnam enough?), bullied other countries into becoming our "allies," and now face a messy, losing battle? Oh well. We'll retreat so they can form their own democracy (code: F***! Run home everybody! Let's get the hell out of the mess we made...)

Don't get me wrong. I am proud to be an American (even though many in our country would claim that I "look like a foreigner" and countless fellow Americans might ask, "Jennifer, where did you learn to speak such good English?").

But maybe somewhere in our great American tradition of mythology-in-the-making (Hollywood style with a dollop of Disney), we ought to reconstruct and rewrite our notions about how life works and, moreover, how communities thrive (CUT! "Americans live in the same world as everyone else," Scene 3, TAKE 2! ACTION!!!).

The rugged individual is so 1800s. Today we live in a global world. It's not easy, but maybe we ought to reconsider the value of respect for and relationships with our fellow human beings and, --while we're at it, -- steer clear from the breakdown of cooperative society.

After all, what's the currency of a democracy really worth without civilization? It's not easy. But then again, is there anything of value that is?

P.S. Of course, I would never complain, whine or moan ;). I'm an American after all...

#60: Sesame Crunch Lotus Bun Ice Cream

At San Francisco International Airport I crave sesame crunch lotus paste dim sum buns. Out of hundreds of airports across America, only in San Francisco do we have an entire counter (at the International Terminal) dedicated to dim sum!

But the cravings have a very specific and peculiar time frame. They occur only when I land (not before a take off). And only about 15 minutes before touch down, and about 8 minutes after I've resumed life back on earth.

"To order? Or not to order?"

Somehow the tug of home, of being back in California -- and especially, in the SF Bay Area, the historical port of entry for immigrants from Asia -- is especially strong at touch down, when the dim sum cravings always hit.

Maybe it's the lunar pull of moon, or the reminder that just a hop, skip and jump across the Pacific (what is an ocean to ancestral spirits?) lies the land of my birth. Only...I've never been back there. Not since my adoption.

Maybe it's the reminder of my Chinese roots. The lotus bun, like a tender sweet egg, just ripe for time travel and transformation.

I don't know. But I've noticed these cravings are calculable and connected to a geometry of time-space memories and experiences (not just in San Francisco).

In Paris I crave freshly-made morning palmiers, profiteroles (ice cream cakes in lush chocolate sauce) and pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants). In England I crave sticky toffee pudding, packets of crisps, a good lime spritzer. And in San Francisco, I crave sesame seed lotus buns. With each bite, I am transported to a past that somehow lives in the present -- if only for a moment -- through these divine morsels of delicious food.

Which snacks make you happiest, remind you of home, or of your mother or your grandmother, or of a time in your life when you felt safe, loved, comforted and warm?

#59: Permission-to-Launch Lovely Dream Ice Cream Lollies

How might your life be different if you grant yourself permission to finally be who you really are?
--a thought had this morning while sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows in a gorgeous cottage on a hill overlooking Lake Washington, Seattle